Friday, August 24, 2012

aku n raya...raya...raya...



Ini anak2 saudara. Ada 14 semuanya...tapi ada sorang abang tak balik lagi...maka ada 10 je. Semua ni aku pernah tukarkan pampers...mandikan...tidurkan...
Sekarang semua dah besar2...dah panjang2...dah kena bagi duit raya banyak2 pagi raya...haih...selamat makcik dapat bonus banyak raya ni ye anak2...alhamdulillah....


Kami bergambar pada hari ke 3 raya...sebab tu semua pakai biasa2 je. Dah xpakai baju raya sebab yang berdiri tu semua dah nak balik rumah masing-masing. Si kembar sorang lagi ada kat rumah atas. Kejut2 xmau bangun...tidurlah bang oi...raya2 tak nampak matahari...tak faham.

Oh...rumah bawah ni mak baru tambah. Tak siap lagi pun...tapi kami belasah juga, letak langsir gitu gini...maka siaplah dan cantiklah rumah baru siap ni...



Anak-anak saudara yang pandai bergaya. Nurin n haris tu memang dah biasa pandang camera. Bapak kerja kat tv. Selalu la angkut diorang berdua ni berlakon free...
Si amani ni pulak...memang kaki bergaya. Tak taula mana dapat perangai macam ni. Mak n bapak dia cool je orangnya. Minah sorang ni pelik sangat. Mengada terlebih pun ya. Inilah anak saudara aku yang paling drama queen setakat ni...


Ini je gambar raya pertama yang aku ada sebab semua orang raya kat rumah mertua. Asyraf pun...lepas semayang raya bapak dia terus balik rumah nenek dia. Maka...pagi raya pertama..macam biasa..aku pakai baju cantik-cantik...golek-golek kat tengah-tengah ruang tamu yang kosong sambil tengok tv. Bahagia...haha.

Jadi...itulah dia catatan raya 2012 aku. Nothing much. Baju raya pun tak ada. Fikirkan mcam2 bajet nak kena jaga. Macam2 bende nak kena bayar.

Tak de mood sangat aku nak beraya. Tensi juga tengok semua orang dah berkeluarga. Masing2 tayang anak suami isteri dalam facebook. Aku? Tayangla gamba anak buah yang sepuluh orang ni...haih...

Yang membaca n masih dalam mood raya...
Selamat hari raya lah ye...maaf zahir n batin.. :)
posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, August 11, 2012

aku n...hari-hari pun...



Ini kaki.
Itu stokin baru dibeli beberapa minit yang lepas.
Yup stokin baru.
Hari-hari pun beli stokin baru.
Hari-hari pun lupa nak bawa stokin.
Dah la stokin baru selalunya cute2 ada gamba cartoon.
Paling xleh blah stokin baru selalunya warna pink.
Hari ni je tukar angin beli warna cokelat sebab pakai baju cokelat.

Ini entry bosan di pagi hari.
Sebab pergi kerja pagi-pagi...tapi tak ada kerja.
Jadilah pungguk yang tak rindukan bulan.
Sambil baca paper bertarikh 12 Oktober 2010.
Ye...2010.
Entah siapa yang letak.
Baca je lah...

Ngantuk.
Haih

.
..
...
....
.............

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, August 2, 2012

aku n...dan begitulah...

When i said its done...
then it is done.

No more turning back.
End.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

aku n...grrr...

Damn sleepy.
Dang!!!
Hit face on the desk!
.
.
.
.
.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, July 28, 2012

aku n ...yup aku rimas...

Dan dengan ini mengisytiharkan aki rimas.
Ye...aku rimas dengan perangai sesetengah manusia yg pathetic yg suka mencari simpati.
Dan ye...aku mmg kejam sekarang ini.
Aku memang rimas dan tak nak dah melayan ayat-ayat seperti...
'i've been thinking lately...and i think people don't love me anymore, i think nobody care about me...i think i want to die.... U should let everyone know that they can forget me and act like i never exist'

So what??? Pegilah mati. Ada aku kesah? Kalau ko sendiri dah rasa tak ada orang sayang kat kau...so...ade aku kesah? Pegilah mati kalau dah nak mati sangat.

Sendiri tak sayang diri sendiri, ko harap orang pedulikan hidup kau? Sendiri tak sayang diri sendiri ko nak harapkan kasih sayang orang lain?

True when people said, when u put hope on something from others, u tend to get easily hurt and that kind of feeling is actually sampah sebab orang tu tak tau pun apa yang ko harapkan...lebih sedih, doesn't even bother dengan harapan ko yang dia langsung tak tau tu.

So...aku memang dah penat dan menyampah dan rimas dan malas nak layan ayat2 mintak simpati macam tu. Aku nak tengok sejauh mana perasaan nak pegi mati ko tu bertahan.

Jangan harap aku nak pujuk ko sebab aku dah bosan dengan ayat2 macam tu. Titik.

Owh...lagi satu species...
'sorry la mengganggu awak...lepas ni saya takkan ganggu hidup awak lagi' -sedangkn ayat sebelum tu cuma tanya khabar n hai2 je..

Hah...baguslah kalau dah tau. Silalah berambus cepat. Apehal nak mintak2 simpati dengan harapan aku akan cakap..
'eh xdelah...mane ade awak menggangu..saya suka awak kacau saya...kacau la lagi..kacau la selalu..'
Hak tuuii!!! Memang tak la aku akan cakap mcm tu.

Kesimpulannya...aku sekarang dah xde baik hati dah. Dan aku bukan manusia typical yang bila mana kau keluarkan ayat2 sedih mintak pujuk aku akan pujuk. Nehi.
Setakat mintak simpati tak berasas, itu namanya memang dalam usaha mintak aku kasi tapak kaki.

Sekian.

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, May 4, 2012

aku n...am living happily..

Suddenly nak menulis macam ni...

I am living happily at the moment
Things are doing well...
I've found someone to listen to me...
Who won't judge me
Who won't get tired with me if my story is about my happiness, moreover my stress...
Who have time for me,
Who won't simply said i don't have time for her
Who won't hurt me by simply post hurtfull words on facebook like I won't read it
Who won't simply throw me away when she doesn't want me in her life

Anyway friend, i don't know what hurts u badly,
And i really does not want to know
I've done enough being nice and patience
I can't do it anymore

I am precisely not a puppet
I am a human who have eyes and ears and brain
Who can see, read and listen and think
I am done reading n hurt at the same time
As a note: lots of ur friends are mine too

So, thank you for being a good friend all this while
I've never though of looking for u only when i need you
Because i am always waiting for you to come to me when you needs me
Since i think that is what friends are for
I am done doing the parts looking for you everytime

To be honest, i did feel a bit sad for loosing you
But at the same time i am thankfull
Since you ended it this way
I am free now
From feeling hurt when u said something hurt me and i will forgive you right away because you are my good friend
From feeling hurt when you are repeating my mistake and to laugh at it for fun
From feeling hurt when you simply put facebook post attacking me
From feeling hurt when you simply throw me away when you think you does not need me
Not once actually few times already right?

Umm...to think back...
Maybe all those post is actually refer to you
Refer to how you treated me 'sesuka hati'

So friend, i am very sorry for hurting you in any way...
I apologize for any mistake that i have done
I just want to let you know that i am doing fine
It does not bother me at all when you decided to throw me away this time
Because as i said
I am done being good

And dear friend,
Please know that i have forgive you in any way
I did not keep anything you've done which hurt me
Because i am really honest and sincere being friend with you
Hope you will forgive me for everything too...

Again..thank you for throwing me away from your life... :-)

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, April 28, 2012

aku n...peng you

Zao an...

Ni hao ma?



Zhe shi wo de peng you, pei yie. Ta shi 'engineer'.

Zai jian...

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, April 20, 2012

aku n tudung siang malam...



Mempersembahkan tudung dual color. My mom cakap tudung siang malam...weee....

A person I know once said...orang yg ada blog ni is a lonely people. Tak ada kawan...sebab tu menulis dalam blog so that people will recognise them.

Ye ke macam tu?

Personally, i don't mind. I am the kind of person yang susah sangat nak say my personal thought depan orang. I preferred writing than talking.

Sebab selalunya bila menulis aku rasa diri aku lebih rasional. Kadang-kadang bila bercakap, kita tak sedar yang kita menyakitkan hati orang di sekeliling kita.

Another thing...aku memang payah sikit nak cakap tentang perasaan, i mean about apa aku rasa, my opinion about this and that. Aku selalunya salah expresskan my self.

So, aku lebih senang merepek meraban dalam blog. Sebab tak ada orang boleh judge aku, tak ada orang yang akan mengecikkan hati aku.

Anyway...kalau ada orang yang judge pun...what do i care kan. Orang yang judge me tu tak ada depan mata.

So...personally...why do you blog?

.
.

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, April 13, 2012

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Aku n kecelaruan fikiran..

Diriku ini ada penyakit cepat panas.nak nak bila aku rasa macam kena pijak. Consquences dari itu mesti ada mangsa yang terkena,n akan ada sejarah buruk yang tercipta, n akan ada damage yang tak boleh de repair. Sigh....

Last night, i've do it again n today i feel guilty for making a life miserable. Damn.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

aku n end.

I am deeply heartbroken tonight.
I need to find a shoulder to cry on as fast as I can.
I can't breath.

It is ended tonight.
END
END ina...
END!!!
.
.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

aku n kata hati...

~ buah pulasan from a friend at cal-comp ~


Cinta...
kalau tak dibaja,
lama-lama akan layu,
sakit,
dan mati,

begitu juga dengan suka...
kalau tak dikembang-kembangkan,
tak disiram-siram,
tak dikenang-kenang,
tal diintai-intai,
maka,
takkan bercambahla dia...

here we go,
my next sweet guy to see everyday,
saja,
menceriakan hari di tempat kerja,
menyukakan perasaan,

tak ada apa-apa,
saja,
nak mencari mood untuk bekerja,
supaya hati,
lebih gembira,
lebih mudah bekerja,
kualiti semakin baik,

dan...
kalau ada jodoh,
itu namanya REZEKI....

hahaks!!
poyos.
pandang saje sudah...
tak usahla nak melebih-lebih.

insyaAllah,
pasti tak.
hati kata tak... :D

.
.
.


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

aku n stop it please...



The last thing I want to do to people I know usually is to hurt them in any way since usually whoever they are, they will always have some meaning in my life.

I have this friend who is my colleague in previous company I’ve work before. And yes, he is a man…or I can say a boy. I have this feeling that any man who is younger than me is usually a boy or a kid who are not matured enough. It’s hardly happen that I can like a younger person unless he passed a few indicator of maturity in my head for a man.

Why I say younger people not matured? Because I’ve seen and met tons of them, and whenever I try to put my trust on these boys…always and surely, it will disappoint me. To be honest, not only younger man, the same age with me, maybe older than me, also can be very disappointing.

Let’s start with my EX story…he is getting married bay the way in next 2 weeks, with a girl ‘choose by his mom’-whom he already met and already know and already close to…but trying to emphasize to me how he hate the idea of marrying this girl so call ‘chosen by his mom’. From the look on his eyes, I know what he said is just to ease up my heart. Until the last moment, he still do not know me, never know that I know how to read him and will never understand why I am letting him go in the first place.

I’ve met him the other day…since I haven’t dating anyone ever since I broke up with him; my heart was a little bit fluttering. I call that…’the lonely girl who feel excited to meet a boy but actually misinterpreted her exact feeling’. Yes, I did mislead myself to a stupid idea of almost liking him back which thankfully I found my conscious quickly and at the right moment.

End of him, but my point is, he is still the same younger man who can’t show me enough matured and charming spark up to my standard. For that almost 2 hours’ time, he still manage to say few things that didn’t show he respect me as a woman, moreover a woman he once love. I have to keep remind myself why I broke up with him the whole night.

Don’t blame me and judge me on misleading my heart in the first place. It was just exciting to meet a person who once loves me since I haven’t love anyone anymore like when we were dating. It is very hard for me to open up my heart to anyone, and I am too scared to let any man to touch it.

Honestly, I’ve put the deep feeling on liking a man…way back deep down in my heart that I don’t know where and how to find it back. Only sometimes, when I met someone who looks nice in my eyes (he is probably tall and older than me or such), comes that ‘gedik2’ feeling and admiring that guy like crazy for a moment.

That moment is depends on how long their charming spark can last long enough in my eyes, or maybe some other more charming guy has taken his place. But, that’s it…I will never go speak to that person that I like him like this and that, moreover to make any move to let that person know that I like him. I just love to play in silence.

I just love it like that. To have someone to admire and encourage me to go to class or work, love to stalk what he do that day, love to silently crossing our coincidently event together, get excited just my saying hi or something, that’s it, I just love to enlighten my heart silently like that. Sound so lonely and stupid right? It is just the way I am having fun alone with myself. No heart feeling, obviously, no heart will be hurt.

It is fun. If the guy happens to show something that makes me deducted his mark, and then he is gone, here comes the other guy. Seriously, I am working in technical world which have a lots of men to see…hahaha…no offense, it is just fun to admire someone and not bounded to anything. There always be someone to be admired, just to make me happy for the rest of the day.

If there is a guy, who I have already deducted his mark and trigger in my system that he is out, he will never going to get his mark back. He might have a chance, if he is brave enough to ask me to marry him…tapi…itu semua mimpi sajalah no…

So, here comes this guy on my earlier story. I have no idea that he has some feeling toward me back there while we were working together. He once got his place, for just a few days but quickly loose his mark.

So now, he is trying to get my attention and I am getting annoyed with his act. But, I really hate to hurt people, and he is quite a nice guy. It feels wrong to hurt him, but he almost reaches my limit, and I am afraid that I might break his heart terribly.

I am in the dilemma since I am not in the mood to have any this ‘feeling2’ thing on any man, but he is so nice kid to be hurt but I almost done being good now. I don’t know what to do. I just hope that he can stop irritate me and stay away from me. Please..... before I made up my mind and hurt him.

Sleepy.nite.

Monday, February 20, 2012

aku n when mom is not at home...






When mom is not at home, it feels so quite…

I have to wake up alone, without hearing her voice waking me up…

Feel so silence when I walk into the house from work…

Nobody is talking to me when I am surfing the internet before sleep…

No voice telling me updates about other family member for the day…

No funny story on what Amir was doing the whole day…

No her homemade lauk to eat…

Okay…I miss my mom.

Ni tensi ni, dah sampai mekah, sikit tak hantar kabar berita…senyap je semua orang. Bosan gila tak ada orang nk ajak borak bila balik umah…T_______T


mencik.

.

.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

aku n esok bermula...8feb2012






nomu nomu chowa!!

finally the day has come.
good luck to my self...:D

good night....



Tuesday, January 10, 2012





someone who really love you sees what a mess you can be,
how moody you can get,
how hard you are to handle,
but still want you in their life...
.
.
.
.
current pic on desktop.
its nearly 2 am in the morning,
guess I am getting insane
staying up late
looking any info about the lost person
who seem like missing from this world
finally
found out
that the person is an engineer
but still
nothing new
haha
i need sleep
now!
.
.
.