Monday, September 20, 2010

aku n abes dah cuti rayanya…T__T

~previous mode :

sangat suka bercuti selama 2 minggu tanpa mengasak fikiran dengan perkara-perkara berbangkit. Bahagia beraya ke sana ke mari bersama keluarga tercinta. Hohoh…dapat juga duit raya tahu.. :D

~current mode :

bosan aih…dah nak mula dah kembali ke rutin biasa. Betul-betul tak bersedia ni dan rasa tak nak bangun pagi esok untuk menghadap kembali semua yang ditinggalkan secara bahagia 2 minggu yang lepas…

Uuhhh..kena tidur… T__T

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*oh.saya kena&wajib belajar melupakan sekarang. Titik.

*Belajarlah menyukai apa yg kita ada dan bersyukurlah, insyaAllah ketenangan akan hadir dalam kehidupan kita. =) ~~secretly taken.sigh...T__T

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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

aku n waah..tidak kusangka…

Emm…dah tinggal sehari je puasa tolak hari ini…kalau puasa lagi esok. Kalau esok dah raya? Selamatlah…habis dah Ramadan.

Sedang bersiap-siap mahu pulang ke kampong halaman ni…tapi sempat lagi nak update blog kan…hehe…

Current mode: masih lagi melayang-layang…sepanjang masa layan CD yang diberi membuatkan fikiran, otak, hati, kaki, tangan, badan…pendek kata seluruh jiwa lah masih lagi teringat-ingat pada dia…ini memang penangan hebat ni…yarkh…

Yang pasti encik itu memang tak baca blog. Jadi semua yang aku repekkan memang selamat dalam ni…insyaAllah… anyway, dalam fb pun dah tak de dah link ke blog. Selamat… :D

Rindu. Pasti. A motivator kata…rindu itu sifat semuladi dalam setiap manusia. Biasalah tu rindu, tak ada salahnya. Cuma rindu itu tidak perlulah dizahirkan dalam bentuk yang melampaui batas agama. Jadi…rindu ini tak salah. Xpe.diam-diam…tak menyusahkan sesiapa :D

Kata motivator lagi…cinta sejati cuma wujud apabila ikatan ijab kabul sudah dilaksanakan dan kekal hingga akhir hayat. Maka, jangan risau juga..ini bukan cinta. By the way…macamlah tak tau aku kan. Bukannya lama sangat pun aku angau2 ni semua. Esok2 aku dah rasa malas nak ingat dia dah, maka akan jadi senyaplah.

Menjadikan sesuatu kesukaan kepada sebuah cinta bukanlah benda mudah pada aku. Suka…senang je. Kucin tepi jalan pun aku boleh suka. Tapi…jatuh cinta…susah-susah. Kita tengok ye..berapa lama sangat bertahan gediks aku ni..hehe…

oh..yang aku waah kan di atas ni adalah sebab : 5 entri berturut-turut encik abang ni muncul dalam blog aku. tak sangka aku sudi menulis sebegini banyak tentang seorang lelaki...isk..isk...

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Okay, mari pulang le kampong halaman…

Selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir n batin kepada sesiapa saja yang membaca :D

Berhati-hati memandu..jangan rempit2, sayangi duit, speed trap banyak..hehe..

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

aku n this is hard for me…

mmmm…

Should I stop or hurt myself?

It is very hard being in this situation…playing with my heart. Pretend that I'm okay. It's hurtful.

Should I just stop?

But my heart says no.

Bear with it hurt my heart so much…

What should I do?

What should I do?

What should I do?


 

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=((

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Monday, September 6, 2010

aku n enjoying the precious moment....



By: Maher Zain




I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along
OOOOO
And theres a couple words I want to say


For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you


I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You`re my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we`re together in Jannah
Now I find myself so strong
Everything was changed when you came along
OOOO
And there's a couple word I want to say


For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you


I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here
In front of me I strongly feel love
And I have no doubt
And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally


For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you


I know that deep in my heart


……


Currently buried deep inside this song…


I think I'm going insane again…


What did I think la agaknya semalam. Nasib baiklah tak terlepas cakap. Kalau dah tercakap kan nanti dah malu nak jumpa.


Tapi…seriously, I almost fall for everything that he does. But then, he said, he is usually like that. Pernah juga share payung with 4 people. Usually treat girls around him nicely. Natural gentleman he is.


Ah..macam mana nak shout to the world that I really like him? Like. Pull stop. Can't go any further than that.


I think I'm just messing out with my feeling. Surely he has someone else in his heart. A very kind hearted man like him… surely that girl is a special one. Slightly jealous…but whom am I to have feel like that rite? I am just a fren to a good fren. Not more, not less…I guess.


My feeling when he said that he has someone else in his heart? honestly...nothing. Trust me…it is really nothing. I guess my heart also has gone dead. Too much emptiness makes me feel very comfortable being alone. Surely it's hurt sometimes…but it is comfort. For the time being off course.

He said : let's just be friends. Good. Because I like him and it is fun to be with someone who really nice and care for you when you are with him. Maybe because he is good in taking care of people, makes me like him so much. He pick me up, sending me home, wait for me to go inside d house before left, talk nicely to me, treat me as a girl...well, who doesn't fall for that rite? He is just a natural romantic n nice guy. It is not my fault that he is so nice that makes me like him so much…am I?

That nite, he has done most of things I've been dreaming for which has never been done by my ex's. He picked me up as usual, firstly give me an honest smile (damn, it is so sweet). While we were eating, he placed the foods in my plate (aahhh..melting)

He opened the door for me because I kept sitting in the car (honestly, I didn't do it on purpose, I was waiting for a car to pass by, I rabun, mana la nampak keter tu jauh ke dekat), he shared the umbrella with me(okay, I'm being exaggerate…dia terpaksa okay. takkan lah nak tinggal I terkontang-kanting dalam hujan tu kan), nicely shared chocolate topping in his cup with me (the same drink that I asked,is not in purpose okay. I'm tired n sleepy, hot choc seem nice for the nite)

On the way back, when I am 'emo' for a while, the advice from him, does not annoyed me (ini penting. Aku jarang suka kalau orang nasihat time aku nangis, I can't believe I didn't feel annoyed with his word. Maybe sebab dia abang kot…) , he even remember to give me the CD we were listening for all night (aku main2 je mintak masa perjalanan pergi, alih2 dia ingat juga nak bagi...see...baik gile kan?) n finally as usual, send me home n wait for me to go inside before he drove away(truly natural gentleman kan?).


Now tell me, who is not fall 'jatuh hati' for all that kind of nice treatment? In one night…I do feel like smiling all the time. I do feel like looking at his face all the time, waiting for him to give me that sweet smile. It is not my fault rite? Siapa suruh jadi baik sangat. I'm just enjoying the moment. Bahagia is the feeling.heheh… But…it is only that. I didn't fall in love. It is not easy for me to fall in love for the moment. The wound from past break up doesn't heal yet.


The only lacking about him…he is not tall… not tall enough for me… that is the biggest doubt that I have when my best friend want to introduce him to me. It is not I am too choosy, but being with two persons who is not too tall whose turn out betrays me at the end, I've been psycho with this kind of people. I am afraid that at the end…things will go to turn out bad again. So that is why I couldn't push myself to like him more than 'like'. Typical breed: always nice to people, but suddenly able to betray someone he love. I've meet two okay. Don't blame for judging people like that.


For the moment…while he is single and available…I'll just enjoy the moment being treated nicely by a man…ngeh..ngeh..can I? ala..mengambil kesempatan sikit je. He is neither married nor have any girlfriend for the moment. He won't fall to me anyway. He already give his heart to someone else. So, there is nothing to be worry about. Tak apalah kan… :D


By the way, it is fun to like someone secretly. Hihi…


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Happily listening to the song. Oh…bukan bayangkan dia okay. Tak ada bayangkan siapa2.


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Nak pergi pasar, nak beli daging. Happy becoming hari raya… :D


*amir is sitting beside me waiting for me to make 'susu' for him. Got to go…


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Sunday, September 5, 2010

aku n noted

sunday, 5th september 2010...1.45pm.

noted :
his heart has been occupied.
has been stolen by someone.

we are friends.

that's it.
enough.
pull stop.

.....

whylah ina...why??!!
whylah kamu nak ditimpa perasaan bagai macam ni...
wahylah kamu..why??!!
baik sangat sampai saya ditimpa perasaan.

.....

dah2..focus. xmo dah pening2 ni semua.
ada...ada.
tak de...tak de...
titik.

.....

sahabat...
sorry if what ever happen last nite, or just now might hurt u...sorry okay dear...

.....

aku n confuse…yarkh!!



I seriously need a shoulder to cry on…


Anyone nak bagi pinjam???


I want someone to wipe off my tears…




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I know I have a great, nice n beautiful bestfren…


Thanks Allah for sending her to me… :D


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currently listen : For The Rest of My Life


Saturday, September 4, 2010

aku n yes fia…your bff is happy…

It has been a while…almost 2 year I think since I felt this happy. So happy that makes me smile until I close my eyes n sleep n dream for the whole day. Which I hope today, tomorrow and further, the feeling would stay the same.

I never realize how happy I am for the past 2 months. The room where I always hang in to…be the room which makes me happy n went out in smile every time. All this while, I never realize how unhappy I am when I went to that room but he isn't there. Moreover…I never realize how happy I am to see him in there waiting to give me a very wide smile which makes my heart leap to the sky…

This is insane…totally insane. I am immersed in happinity(*perkataan baru-state of happiness =) haha! suka hati je)

"………… (blushing) I suka…ina" – 3 september 2010/11.28pm

Yesterday fia when we went out…I do feel very happy. Last nite, he again do stuff that I never expected him to do, but I actually hope him to do so..yarkh!!gediksnye I…hahahaha…

Dahlah..malas nak tulis dah

Happy! Happy! Happy!....lalalala~~~



*Oh yes…my bff safiah…don't u dare war2 ini dalam fb. I sekeh u sampai pengsan2 nanti okay. Love u!!